New is exciting, glamorous, adventurous. I’ve heard on TV that “new is always better.” New, however, can also be challenging, overwhelming, and require you to do or know something different than past you knew or did.
When I was a new student at BYU, I felt completely overwhelmed. I had to adjust to new people and new expectations. I had to find my way to new buildings, build relationships with professors, and somehow be instantaneously good at all of that.
Over time I adjusted, realizing that by tapping into the right sources–TAs/Professors–I could grow into the student I wanted to be. While I was never instantly great at everything my freshman year, I learned to ask questions. And, more importantly, I developed relationships with those who could help me get where I wanted to go.
During my internship in Berlin, Germany, I had to relearn what it was like to be new at something. I learned why I need to ask questions and develop important relationships to go where I want professionally.
My supervisor was everything that an intern could wish for. He was aware of me, always including me in projects and discussions. And, he was always patient with me when I didn’t fully understand something.
Here was the good relationship I wanted to develop. Yet, I initially felt quite self-conscious about that relationship. I wanted to impress him. But, I once again felt like that lost freshman who felt he needed to be instantly good at everything to be noticed by the professor. I worried that if I couldn’t immediately contribute due to the language barrier, or because of my lack of formal training in the German law system, I would just be the intern that got dragged along because the boss felt obligated to help.
I often went into the office wishing I could just be invisible. I let my anxiety about not meeting my boss’s expectations rule my mind. So, I decided to just try and not be noticed. I didn’t want my boss thinking he had let a bad intern on the staff.
About a month into my internship, my supervisor asked me to create a PowerPoint for an important client. I was comfortable with PowerPoint. I had a solid example outline to replicate. And, the project was to be completed in English, as the clients didn’t speak German.
Finally. An opportunity where I felt I could immediately shine and show my boss that I wasn’t the lost intern who always needed help. This was my opportunity to finally make a lasting, good impression on my boss and develop that professional relationship I desired.
Throughout the project, however, questions arose. Eager to show my ability to work independently, I did my best to answer them myself.
My boss and I met occasionally for updates about the project. On one particular day, he even had me give a trial run presentation.
After the trial run, my boss realized he had more information he wanted me to include in the PowerPoint. He sent me a couple of emails containing the necessary information, and I went back to work thinking it would be an easy fix. While incorporating the new information, I found that one of the pdf links he sent had a data error. It could not be accessed.
My boss seemed busy, and I wanted to be the problem-solver intern. So instead of immediately going to my boss, I just hoped the information wasn’t important and moved on.
The day before the presentation, my boss called me into his office to do one last trial run of the presentation before the client flew into Berlin. He asked me the question I didn’t want to hear, “Where is the information I sent you in the email?” I admitted that the link hadn’t worked, and so I hadn’t included it.
I remember his response clearly, “If there’s ever a question, ask while it’s still fresh on my mind.”
Because I wanted to pressure pack every good experience into my three-month-long internship, I forgot that growth in a new environment is a process. Attempting to create perfection rather than growth reappeared on my internship, just like as a freshman at BYU. But this time, I forgot to ask questions and go directly to the source that could help me.
I hadn’t formed a good relationship with my boss up to that point because I hadn’t told him I needed his help or asked for his input. In fact, because I wanted to be perfect, I avoided a relationship altogether, thinking that my work would speak better for me than I would for myself.
I learned that good bosses don’t want the intern that just sits in a corner, hoping never to make a mistake. They want a colleague. Colleagues are employees that choose asking questions and forming relationships over worrying they are bothering their boss.
Moving forward, I plan to work on being a colleague, not just an employee, by tapping into important relationships that will help me get where I want to go professionally, just as I did after that experience with my internship supervisor.
Written by Nathan E., Intern at Geismar Rechtsanwälte (Berlin, Germany) 2022.