June 28, 2021
My high school band director’s principle of “First Ask Three, Then Me”—the idea that we should go to at least three other information sources before turning to our professors and supervisors—was a total game changer for me.
By doing research on my own, I was a much more efficient student and employee. With the “First Ask Three, Then Me” principle, the goal is to be as self-directed in finding answers to your questions as possible.
But what happens when you’ve looked into several different sources, and none of them seem to have the solutions you’re looking for?
On one hand, you don’t want to annoy your supervisor with endless questions. But on the other hand, sometimes you genuinely can’t find the answers on your own. Some questions need advice and direction from a more experienced professional, and your supervisor is a great candidate for providing the information you need.
When this is the case, you’ll want to schedule a meeting with your supervisor to ask for their input. Be sure to include the following four things in your meeting agenda.
- Show off your research. When you meet with your supervisor, you’ll want them to know that you’ve already looked around for answers to your questions. Tell them where you’ve looked, what you’ve found, and why you still need their input. They’ll be impressed by your self-guided expedition to find information, and you will eliminate the risk of getting information that you already know.
- Ask the right questions. Once you’ve presented your research, have several specific questions ready that will help you have a productive conversation with your supervisor. These questions could be as simple as “where would you recommend looking for more relevant information?” or they could be more specific, such as “I’m still not sure how to accomplish x. What is your advice?” The more specific your questions are, the more specific your supervisor’s response will be. An added bonus is that your supervisor will be impressed with the preparation and thought you put into your meeting.
- Propose potential solutions. After gathering and analyzing the information you receive from your supervisor, don’t leave the problem solving up to them. They already have a hefty workload, and they definitely don’t want to do your work on top of theirs. Instead, brainstorm several solutions and ask for their opinion on them. If they think your solutions are good ideas, then verbally commit to doing them. If they don’t like your ideas, ask for their advice and keep brainstorming. This is a great way to show that you have potential beyond your internship or current position. It helps your supervisor see you as someone they can mentor or coach, not just assign tasks.
- Let your supervisor know you listened. If your question was purely information-based and didn’t necessarily need a solution, repeat back to your supervisor what you learned from your conversation. Again, you should verbally commit to implementing that learning. If your question did necessitate finding a solution, repeat back to your supervisor what specific tasks you will do as you work towards solving the original problem. In both cases, doing so will help your supervisor know that they will not have to take on an additional project, and it will also increase their confidence in your ability to work effectively towards solutions and improvement.
Sometimes finding solutions for a problematic assignment is not something you can do on your own, and that’s okay. The trick is to stay organized by compiling the research you’ve already done, prepare questions and potential solutions for your meeting with your supervisor, and listen carefully throughout the meeting. This style of collaborative problem solving will help you to reestablish your supervisor’s trust in you, as well as give you the information you need to continue on your project.
Ultimately, you’ll be able to find shared purpose with your supervisor, and find that your relationship is stronger because you’ve asked the best questions for your work together.