September 14, 2020
Imagine that you have finished your last day at your internship. You have packed up your things and said goodbye to the coworkers and relationships that you have enjoyed cultivating during the last three to four months. Imagine that your coworkers promise to remain in touch at your goodbye party, and that you leave confident that you have made lasting connections and created valuable professional networks.
However, after a few months have passed, you reach out over email to your former supervisor and receive no response. Is this uncommon? Are you remembering your internship correctly? You ask yourself what you could have done differently to make sure that your old coworkers and former supervisor do not see you only as the former intern, or as someone that they may hazily remember, but not care enough about to merit an email response.
Luckily, this was only in your imagination—you are still sitting at your desk a few weeks into your internship. They haven’t pulled out the goodbye party supplies yet. Your supervisor is still getting to know you. You are at the beginning, which means you can still have—and realize—your desired end in mind.
Your priority relationships on your internship can remain valuable relationships in your life after the internship—introducing you to your chosen industry, providing needed advice, and supplying glowing letters of recommendation—if you are deliberate about the kind of relationship you build while on your internship. So, what kind of relationship provides such long-lasting benefits?
Mentor-Mentee vs. Supervisor-Intern
Right now, you’re an intern to your supervisor. As the intern in your supervisor-intern relationship, your supervisor views you as short-term—you have an agreed-upon beginning of your internship and end. Your first meeting with them is key in setting up these short-term goals—managing a project, finding professional development experiences within the term of your internship—but it also reinforces your “short-termness” in the eyes of your priority relationship.
For your relationship to be long-term, you have to help your supervisor see you as a long-term investment, with potential value that goes beyond the end of your internship—after they have stopped “supervising” you. Your most important move to make in cultivating your priority relationships is to help them grow from supervisor-intern to mentor-mentee.
Think of Yoda, Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid, or Dumbledore. Yoda didn’t only “supervise” Luke as he stacked rocks in a swamp—he provided Luke with valuable life advice and principles on how to accomplish a long-term project (defeat the Evil Empire and restore balance to the force). Mr. Miyagi helped Daniel see that his short-term projects—waxing the cars or painting the fence—were preparatory to learning long-term skills for life and his chosen sport. Dumbledore became more than a short-term professor for Harry; his mentorship involved helping Harry see his long-term potential.
What did Luke, Daniel, and Harry have to do to access such wondrous mentor relationships? They had to first identify and then support their mentors as mentors, then they had to show their mentors that they were worthy of their faith in their long-term potential.
On your internship, you have found a potential mentor! Congratulations! Now, you need to help them get on board with believing in your long-term potential and how good it will be for them to be your mentor.
Five Ways to Level Up
If you want them to see you as a long-term potential and valuable relationship, and themselves as your mentor, try a few of the following tips.
Share your purpose with them. This isn’t merely your perceived or desired purpose on the internship, or even what you hope the internship will do for you in the future. Be willing to share what makes you passionate. You don’t need to be anything other than yourself, but be your most authentically passionate self. What brings you purpose in life? What helps you find meaning and fulfillment? By sharing big-picture pieces of yourself, you are inviting your priority relationship to start to see your big-picture potential, either in their industry or as a professional in general.
Ask them about their purpose. Again, this isn’t asking them to give their job description. This is asking them to reciprocate (if they are comfortable and willing) after you’ve shared your purpose. You can ask them (in an organic, non-forced, and non-awkward time and place—consider asking them out for a coffee or drink after work) what helped them find their way to where they are now. What helps them feel passionate about their job? What do they find fulfilling in the industry? Asking them these questions provides insights that you can use as you act on tip 3.
Offer to help them in their long-term projects. Yes, you are only physically there for three to four months, and yes, most interns would be expected to complete tasks that can be crossed off the short-term project checklist, like replacing toner in the printer or making copies for a meeting. But you’re trying to set yourself apart. Remember, you are not “most interns” but a developing professional. And developing professionals look to contribute for the long haul.
So, ask your supervisor about their long-term projects. This can naturally follow your conversation about their purpose. Maybe they are looking to advance themselves in the company. Maybe they are curious about a big picture question for their industry but don’t have the time at the moment to get started. Ask them, “What would you love to do here, but don’t have a lot of time to devote to it?” Show that you care about the long-term results of their career, and they’ll be more likely to care about the long-term results of your career or professional development.
Pro tip: The answer to that question could be the start of your project for the Professional Internship course. You’re feeding two birds with one scone as you demonstrate dedication to your mentor’s long-term goals and complete your project management requirement!
Ask them to do something for you. This does not mean that you ask them to get you coffee. Again, think big picture for you and for them. Remember, professionals ask fellow professionals to do things for them, and they expect to be asked the same. You’ve hopefully demonstrated by acting on tip three that you have brought value to the table, and now you’d like to up the ante.
Ask them to give you advice but make it personal to them. For example, you may have noticed that they are really great at interacting personably with clients, and you could say, “I’ve noticed that this is a great professional strength of yours, and I would love to get better at it. Could you help me with developing this professional, long-term skill?”
With this question, you’ve moved beyond the “How do I use the printer?” and even the “What can I do on this internship to be of use?” kind of questions. You’re demonstrating that you are interested in becoming more like them—and more like a professional rather than simply an intern. Plus, three or four months after your internship, you could report to them over email or a phone call that you’ve been working on this skill and have more questions for them, thus adding purpose to an email that would have been empty of meaningful mentorship content otherwise.
Be bold. This is a tip that may not work for everyone. But sometimes, being assertive, yet polite, and asking, “I can see that you are the kind of professional I would like to become. Would you be willing to mentor me?” can do the trick. If you feel that the other tips in this list haven’t brought you the resultant mentor level up that you’re looking for, it may help to be clear about your expectations for your future relationship, and to see if they share them.
As you act on these tips, you can move your relationship from a supervisor-intern short-term project to a mentor-mentee long-term investment. Above all, you want to help your priority relationship see that you are a worthwhile investment, that mentoring you will be rewarding, and that you are open and ready to learn from their expertise.
Imagine that you are finished with your internship and a few months removed from daily contact with your priority relationship. You’ve sought to help your supervisor become a mentor, and you’ve implemented a few of the tips provided in that useful blog post you read while on your internship. You email them with a question about professional development—and they email you quickly and warmly.
Begin with this end in mind, and you’ll find your Yoda, Mr. Miyagi, or Dumbledore within your professional relationships!