The Alias

I woke up to the sound of construction in the plaza outside. Walking through the large wooden doors of my old apartment complex, I was greeted by a beautiful morning. The sky was a brilliant blue and the smell of coffee and pastries filled the air as I walked towards the Paseo del Prado. It was my last day of work. I thought back to how tired I was walking the same one-mile route 3 months earlier.

Lighthearted laughter and fiery flamenco music had kept me up the entire night when I first arrived. That first official morning of my internship, I was constantly checking my phone to ensure that I wouldn’t get lost in the bustling foot traffic of Madrid. I discovered that the building I would be working in was right next to a Burger King.

Now, I walked the streets on my memorized path, passing the nearby panaderia and getting a freshly baked croissant to go. Arriving in the office, I said my usual “Buenas!” and all my coworkers’ heads popped out from behind their computers to greet me in kind. It was comfortable and familiar, but it wasn’t always like this.

My first few weeks at the Ministry of Education in Spain were quite the learning curve. I walked in expecting to be given lots to do, since I was under the impression from my internship director that the ministry was “understaffed and overworked.” However, when I arrived, I was introduced to a small group of people and given one assignment to work on for the entire week.

Every day at 11 am, my supervisor would walk into the office and invite me to come to the cafe for a break. We would meet up with a group of my coworkers at one of the cafes around the corner for a quick drink and snack. I discovered that this was a custom in Spain, and these cafes were full of corporate workers taking their breaks.

With people speaking over each other in such a close and noisy setting, I felt overwhelmed and would often just listen to the different conversations and do my best to order my drink. My coworkers did their best to try and include me, but I chose to retreat into a shell I didn’t know I had, alienating myself and stunting my initial potential at making connections with the people I was surrounded by.

Thankfully, working in a shell had the perk of helping me focus, and I was able to prove that I was dedicated to the ministry’s cause by being time efficient in each project I was given. About three weeks into my internship, I finished my work early once again and decided to find the mid-course evaluation and translate it for my supervisor. I printed it out and gave it to her with weeks to spare. When it was time to review it, she was ready. She gave me two pieces of advice:

1. Talk more.

2. Ask more questions.

Alongside this advice was a small but shocking comment: “Don’t be so shy.” Even in situations where I knew very little, I never considered myself to be shy in the United States. This comment helped me realize that my outgoing English-speaking self had a more reserved Spanish-speaking alias.

While neither counterparts were bad, I discovered that I needed to find a way to break the barrier between the two. I was surprised with the comments my supervisor gave, and somewhat disappointed in myself. I felt that it was a failure on my part that I couldn’t articulate the way I knew I could in this new environment, and I was determined to improve.

I made a simple goal to have at least one conversation with a coworker every day.

To kick off this goal, I decided to actively learn more about what my coworkers cared about so I could appreciate Spanish culture even more. In Spain, a huge part of the modern politics and culture derive from the Spanish Civil War and fascist Franco regime.

My course director came to visit and we joined the study abroad group on their trip to el Valle de Los Caídos, a monument erected to honor those who had died in the war. This was a controversial topic in Spain, since many people believed that this monument was actually a memorial of Fransisco Franco.

My director told me not to tell my coworkers about this trip so as to not upset them. Naturally, I thought it would be interesting to hear their perspectives, so I asked them about the memorial. Their reactions were fascinating. A few of them screwed their faces up tightly in disgust. I found that they were totally willing to give their opinions, and I learned more about the unrest still apparent in Spain.

During our trip, my director asked me in front of everyone what my coworkers thought about me going. I hadn’t even told him that I talked to them about it against his direction. We ended up having awesome conversations that promoted more understanding with the whole group.

My coworkers were also more willing to express their opinions around me because I had asked them to share their thoughts on such a controversial topic. I quickly learned that having a conversation with one coworker often meant I would be talking to multiple coworkers. Reflecting back, my one-week goal became common practice for the remainder of my internship.

Halfway through my internship, my coworkers really wanted me to go and explore more of Spain. Carmen, one of the members of the international relations group, sat me down and wrote out a list of places I could visit and what I could do or eat there. I kept that list but didn’t think much of it for over a month.

Finally, I was able to travel and remembered that initial meeting. I decided to follow up and show my appreciation. When I told Carmen about the places I went and things I did, she got very excited. Our relationship was strengthened and she made sure to gather all of the international relations team so we could have a personal meeting and discuss their responsibilities and how I could learn from and help them. I was able to participate in the preparation of multiple meetings and presentations for that group afterwards.

For my last day, my supervisor took me to a new cafe and bought me a cup of chocolate. All of my coworkers gave me a warm goodbye and I sat in the middle of the group, talking with everyone. It was a far cry from my first time at the cafe with them, where I sat on the side and watched.

When my time was up at the office, I did my rounds and said goodbye to everyone. They wished me luck and thanked me for my help. Stepping outside past the security guards at the front, I realized that I was a new person compared to who ambled past those same doors three months prior.

On the way back to my apartment, I decided to take the long route I accidentally walked on my first day of the job. Instead of speeding along this path looking for the appropriate building as I originally had the first time I walked this path, I casually strolled past the Real Jardín Botánico, the Museo del Prado, and the Fuente de Neptuno.

Before, I merely saw these landmarks as beautifying spectacles, but now I was able to take in their beauty and understand the significance of each site in representing Spanish pride. The sun was shining on my face and I felt content knowing that I was capable of anything as long as I acted with confidence and relied on my abilities when facing the new situations with the preconceived determination to make them known and important.